Saturday, April 5, 2014

Why Didn't You Tell Me That Mom and Dad - Part 1

When my oldest son was born I should have started keeping a list detailing various things about raising kids to give to my kids when they decide they are ready for kids – or to their wives.  I am not talking about the simple things, like diapers are expensive and disgusting.  After almost 9 years of doing this parenting thing (boys are almost 9 and 6) I have compiled the following rag tag list.  I probably have forgotten more than I can remember, but I am going to give it a try.  Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments:

Saturday, March 8, 2014

It's All My Fault: Tiny's Back in Our Bed

The number one "don't" of parenting is don't point out when things are going right.  Hell don't even think that things are going right.  I am not sure what it is or why, but it almost like God punishes us for having positive thoughts about our kids. You all know what I mean: the second that you say something positive about your kid's behavior, they start doing the opposite.    

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Not So Standardized Tests: I was Foiled by the 3rd Grade Assessment Test

Earlier in the school year, I wrote this beauty about standardized tests.  Last week, Toothless had his second round of OAKS testing (Oregon's assessment test).  He fell below average on both the reading and the math sections of the test.  He explained to us that he guessed on a lot of the questions and they tested him on fractions, which he hasn't learned yet.  It's a little frustrating, so my wife did some research and discovered that they have practice tests online.

I am sure we were told at some point that practice tests are online, but schools send so much shit home these days, I am sure it got lost in the mounds of crumpled paper lining my son's backpack. 

So we decided to take the practice test to see what these things were like and he can work with Toothless to do better on these tests.  My conclusion, I still hate standardized tests.  The practice test was 15 questions.  The normal test is 40 questions.  Holy shit, 40 questions! No wonder my son is below average. 

By the time I got to question 5, I was sweating and just wanted to be done.  I began skimming questions and picking the answer that looked the most right - i.e. I guessed. One question was so long, I decided that reading it was not necessary and clicked on "C".  ALWAYS choose "C" if you don't know the answer, I remember that from studying for the SAT's.  

The suspense was killing me. How did I do?  I have no idea.  They don't give you a score on practice tests.  That's bullshit.  I would like to think that I got at least 10 questions correct, but who am I kidding. And, yes, I took the 3rd grade test.  Its a wonder how I passed the bar exam and no surprise that the first time I took the SAT I got a 750 - total. 

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Why Can't I Check a Book Out, This is a Library...

Earlier this week, Tiny had library time but forgot his book at home and couldn’t return it and check out a new book.  He gets pretty emotional when things don’t go his way and he was upset that he couldn’t get a new book. He likes reading – more like being read to – and we encourage him to read.  So I told him that evening that we’ll just take the book back to the library before school and he can check out a new book.  I thought that it wouldn’t be a problem.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Monster Jam and Merchandising: The American Tale

"Merchandising, Merchandising!! where the real money from the movie is made" Anybody that has been to a sporting event, Disney on Ice, or other special event with your children know that Yogurt's famous diatribe from Spaceballs is in full force and effect.

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