So it has been a hectic week around our household. With Dad incapacitated I figured I would jot down a few musings of my own.
For as long as I can remember I have suffered from anxiety issues. As a kid I had insomnia. I hated going to the babysitters at night, I was convinced my parents would move when I was gone, I also didn't do well spending the night at people's houses (see the aforementioned fear of parents moving:).
To this day I still suffer from anxiety. At times it can manageable, normal anxiety, for example getting nervous before a job interview, fear of public speaking. Others are more debilitating such as huge fears of flying. It is frustrating. I don't always know what causes the anxiety. This past week has seen a significant case of anxiety. I required a trip to the ER. Which anyone who suffers from anxiety knows, this was not easy. I had to look at my husband and tell him I didn't know what was wrong, that I felt like I was spiraling and that I needed help. I don't do that easily. Dad was great. He realized how bad off I was, cancelled his beyond packed day of prepping for trial, and got me to the ER. With some new meds I am hopeful that I will get this under control, again.
Dad then responded by coming down with the stomach flu. At around 3 a.m. I was awakened by a god awful noise and my husband on the toilet with a garbage can in hands. Good thing we are married, cause that could have been a deal breaker. Also, this was one night that our youngest decided to sleep in his own bed. (See this post). In fact he even joined his brother in fear that he would lose out on his treat. Seriously, the one night!
One of my strict instructions was to relax this weekend and get lots of sleep. Hard to do with your significant other vomiting profusely and unable to get out of bed, and two children who basically don't care that Dad is reenacting Linda Blair's scene from the Exorcist or that Mom has gone off the deep end. In the midst of all of this, and in attempt to be a helpful caring wife, I started a load of laundry and threw Dad's phone in the laundry (maybe someone should not sleep with their phone in their pocket like a security blanket, but that is a whole other post). It was not going well. I called in reinforcements, aka my parents. We moved out of the house. I thought about calling in Hazmat but figured Dad would not get any sleep.
We spent the night with my parents. Dad woke up feeling much better this morning. I am doing a smidge better. We bravely attempted breakfast as family (today is my Dad's birthday). Law Dad was miserable, service was slow, kids surprisingly well behaved. Next stop Verizon, to attempt to recover Dad's newly laundered phone. I refused to enter Verizon with two children in tow. We divided the team and I was left with the youngest. We headed to the nearest Loft for a little window shopping.
My youngest loves me. He thinks Mom is the bees knees. Shopping with him is a delight. He declares everything beautiful. He declares me beautiful. He is amazed by the jewels (aka cheap costume jewelry). He picks out things for me to try on. In fact he pretty much wants me to try on everything. We finally made it to the dressing room with only half the store in tow. He thinks everything is wonderful. I can wear anything! Bring on the burlap sacks, Tiny thinks Mom is beautiful in all of it. In reality, I looked pregnant, pale, and in one shirt manly. He wanted me to buy everything. We settled on one. I think he is happy with our choice.
This afternoon I went for a walk with my oldest. He loves me too, but he is a boy through and through. We took the dog to the field next door. I chose this time to attempt to have a discussion with him. He is not known for his philosophical ways. He rarely remembers what happened ten minutes ago and cannot remember anyone's name ever. I asked him if he liked having a brother. He responded "Yes,because I get more toys. Also I have someone to wrestle with, and if I need to I can make him into a weapon." I don't have a brother so I am not sure that these are the normal reasons for people enjoying their brothers. I asked what if you had a sister. He responded "He would throw her in a lake." I have a sister and have never thrown her in a lake so I am pretty sure that this is not the proper response.
Oldest determined that he wanted to take a trail in the forest above our house. I am very girly. I don't like to get dirty and I surely don't like things I deem creepy. I told him no. He told me that I was just a big chicken and this is why he doesn't like doing things with me. That I am basically a baby. "Why did I wear such silly pants if I didn't want them to get wet?" "Why do I never let him have any fun?" "Why do I think he is a baby?" (this is one I have been getting a lot lately) "Why am I not as fun as Dad?" "Why am I the cause of acts of hate and terrorism in the world?" Okay I may have added that one, but you get the point.
Two solo events with each of my children. Two wildly different experiences. Apparently we are raising two very different little individuals. Let's hope that Dad recovers from the flu quickly so that Oldest doesn't have me sent out to pasture or that we don't go bankrupt from the youngest wanting to buy me everything under the sun, since I look fabulous in all of it!
And mostly so that I can hope to start regaining a tiny bit of my sanity:)